Bringing Back the Second Doctor: A Guide to Madness
by aragonite
Summary: Welll...no excuse really. Just listing the ways we could bring back the Second Doctor to the show...at least for the specials. My offventing stress from the loss of the hard drive that erased MOON CURSERS.


**How to Bring Back the Second Doctor**

* * *

It nearly happened, you know. The Time Lords-that is to say, the BBC considered resurrecting Patrick Troughton to return as the Doctor in the Interim to bring up the ratings back in the '80's when things were perilously low. The fact that someone proposed this says a lot about Troughton's popularity.

But enough of factual fantasy. Let's take a look at the real thing, shall we? If we want to bring back the Second Doctor, let's ponder our options...

**Measure Twice, Cut Once: or, Let's go back to Square One...and take a flying leap off.**

**1) Cuts Both Ways:** The Time Lords "killed" him off in punishment. The least they could do is bring his Second incarnation back. This is by far the most plausible way to do it without resorting to the iffy and somewhat dangerous option of that dreaded science fiction option, Cloning.

**2) Second Time Around: The Clone Theory**. Pretend the unthinkable for a nanosecond. The Time Lords are desperate enough to clone him. Yes, we know a clone of the Second Doctor is risky—unwise on the level of putting a Seaweed Creature in your saltwater aquarium, but its family-friendly genius compared to giving the Master a complete cycle of regenerations, AND they bring him back from the grave to fight in the Time War?! Didn't they learn the first time? Yes, I'm going to say it. It was a clear-cut **Double Cross**. (Voice inside Author's Head: "Oh, you idiom...")

**3) Two Bricks Shy of a Load:** He's charming, sweet, personable, fun-loving and likes pyrotechnic solutions to shady moral issues. So, in retrospect, a clone of the Second Doctor isn't the WORST thing that could happen. At least as far as the Universe goes. He likes the Universe. It's some of its freeloaders he can't stand...

**3a) Lesser of Two Evils:** Now _if_ you cloned him with impure and unwholesome reasons...then that analogy about the Seaweed Creature stands. The Second Doctor is more than ready to make miso.

**3b) On Second Thought...** OK, maybe not the Time Lords, but other species are crazy enough to clone him, and even crazier circumstances are on the take—look at what happened to 10—he managed to have a clone daughter, and a clone twin, and a semi-cloned half-sister with Doctor Donna. And none of this, we should add, was on purpose. It...just happened. Yes, we know this is 10 we're talking about... But still... 4 and 11 was cloned as well...

**4) Double Take: Recycling Regenerations.** Returning to the older face. We know it's not likely, as 10 proved it could be done, but as 11 said, "I had vanity issues back then." If Two had real vanity going, he wouldn't be dressing as a starved scarecrow. HOWEVER, If you can keep your face when you regenerate, what's to stop you from picking up an older model? ANSWER: NOTHING. LOOK AT TOM BAKER IN THE 50TH!

**5) On Second Thought:** There's some consideration to the returning to his old face. After all, he hated all the options the Time Lords offered them, and forced them to come up with their own. To give him credit, he never seemed to hold that personally against 3, but what if he was in a place where he had to change?

**6) The Doppelganger Effect:** Baker's Doctor comments about going back to the old faces. Maybe this has already happened? Somehow we doubt this is the Valeyard.

**7) Two Faced: Temporal Copy.** Not as lunatic as cloning him (I mean, honestly, how crazy are you? Are you a member of the High Council?). But you'd still have the least tractable, most defiant, hard-hitting gung-ho Doctor back in the game. That sound you hear is an army of Cybermen, rebooting their brains in shock.

**8) In Two Minds:** Speaking of the Valeyard, they could just create another distillation, only instead of going for Evil, go for Gonzo. It's not as bad of an idea as making the Valeyard, and if you're going to bring the Second Doctor Back, "staid and sensible" are not the parts that are going to translate well.

**9) Two Shakes of a Lamb's Tail:** Time Traveling hiccups.

**10) Double Up:** REALLY bad Time Traveling hiccups—like, "gracious at least we're out of that Reality Storm! Goodness me, this not only is not the Kansas Universe, Jamie, I don't know _where_ in Time and Space we are, but we may as well settle down and make the best of it. This Universe seems to be lacking in us, so maybe it won't cause too much of a stir...Zoe, do get the scanners working..."

**11) Double your Pleasure, Double Your Fun**: Earth had a double planet, Mondas. It still has a double planet (technically; it's called Luna). Why not a Double Gallifrey? Actually, Prose Canon says there are Nine of them out there. Does that mean the population is the same? Look, you want me to swallow NINE Gallifreys, I'm going to need something to wash it down with!

**12) Know a Trick or Two:** SEASON 6B! WE DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED, BUT IF IT TOOK MATT 300+ YEARS TO TURN A LITTLE GREY, HOW MANY ADVENTURES AND CENTURIES DO WE NOT KNOW ABOUT? _Pat's a silver fox in 2Docs. Why aren't we doing something about this?_

**13) Two Can Play That Game:** More audiobooks, more books by Stephen Baxter, and more comic books. We could at least clone Frazer Hines to be his voice forever…

**14) Double Time**: The Doctor has a secret twin. Only his family knew about it, because a) why tell anyone and b) who would believe it anyway? Suddenly, a lot of inconsistencies make sense.

**15) Double Over: ** The TARDIS did it. She changed him the first time around; she wants him back. Now we can explain how the Doctor is 750 years old in the original script of POWER OF THE DALEKS, but 450 in TOMB. Well...sort of.

**16) Two-Timing it:** Every visible dimension has a reflective or echoing quality. Why the heck can't there be an "echo" or "reflection" of people out there? And I don't mean Mirror, Mirror Universe stuff where everyone has a beard and keeps a framed picture of The Great Dictator (we don't mean Jack Oakie) on the wall. That's bad science. Good science says nothing is ever completely destroyed...

**Playing With Fire (or at least its Salamanders): Unlicensed Copies of yourself Running Around. **

**17) Once Bitten, Twice Shy**: Why are we even debating the possibility of a double when we have Ramon Salamander? Do we really believe he's dead? Shouldn't we at least entertain the possibility? All right, you can quit laughing now. We have the following potentials:

**17a) Duped Again, or Clone on a Throne:** The Vortex turned Salamander's brains into Fried Ice Cream. So there's a perfectly good (if human) body without an intellect. Somebody, go put something in it. There's a perfectly good copy of the Second Doctor's intellect in the Matrix.

**17b) The Moffet Show: Clone Unknown. ** Or, Salamander escaped the Vortex but since he was already crazy, was driven SANE. How's that for a twist? You'd need a Steven Moffat to reveal the truth that he's really a Time Lord altered by a Chameleon Circuit under the light of the Seventh Full Moon under a Plaid Eclipse, but hey, if he can explain River Song, he can do it (or rather, he can explain it until we stop asking; that's more likely).

**17c) Double Dose: Clone? Groan!** For all we know, Salamander WAS the Doctor's personal Valeyard.

**17d) Don't Make Me Repeat Myself: Dragon's Teeth Sown:** If you're the shallow type, Salamander will do in a pinch. He's just as cute, and appeals to the need to take home the Bad Boy. Just make sure you lock up the silverware, stock options, and Red Keys to Dad's Tectonic Plate Adjuster first.

**The Family Tree is a Wreath: Or, Where did You come From?**

**18) Like Two Peas In A Pod:** Find a living relative. Regard the following:

**18a)** Susan has children of her own,

**18b)** the Brigadier's great-granddaughter Kadiatu has the Doctor's DNA in her,

**18c)** Donna's really just a Sleeping Time Lord

**18d?)** Does the Valeyard count?

**18e) Two's Company..**.Any more children? Susan wasn't born from a loom, after all.

**18f)** ** It Takes Two to Tango:** Slim but there, the Doctor wasn't sexless. He liked 'em mature and brainy. You can accept this fact, or Run like Hell in the other direction, which would be...

**Oops. It Just Happened.**

**19) Mad Science, Madder Science, or, On the Second Hand...** We don't know who he is or where he came from, but spontaneous creation can't be outlawed. This IS science fiction after all. Don't be so two-dimensional in your thinking.

**20) Two of a Kind:** Parallel Time.

**21) Cuts Two Ways:** Parallel Universe.

**22) Magic Number: ** The Sisterhood of Karn did it. They can do anything.

**23) Double Take: ** This Universe is really a parallel Universe off the REAL one. In the Real one, they never caught the Doctor.

**24) Lead a Double Life:** The CIA did it. We blame them for everything. Because they'll do anything. They've been secretly keeping the Second Doctor on ice and they thaw him out for secret missions that no one knows about. Those Two-timers! They Tag-teamed up on Two!

**25) Double Back**: See last entry. Only the inevitable happens, and he breaks out, grabs his TARDIS, and is off hovering in the sidelines of time, giving his future selves a nudge here and there. They can't do anything about it because they'd have to admit what they were doing. In other words, Two Two-Times two-timing Time Lords, Twice because he's too much to take.


End file.
